The relatives of James Foley report that US officials told them that [ paying a ransom for him would be a crime ](
http://abcnews.go.com/International/government-threatened-foley-family-ransom-payments-mother-slain/story?id=25453963&singlePage=true ) . This policy is just and necessary to avoid encouraging the taking of more hostages. Foley's relatives, mad with grief, would have saved Foley by endangering others; the officials prevented this. It's not that they didn't understand what it's like to be a relative of a hostage. Rather, it's that they recognized their duty was not solely to that family. I only wish President Reagan could have been prosecuted for ransoming hostages from terrorists. The one doubt that occurs to me is whether ransoming hostages might encourage terrorism less than letting them be used in the snuff videos that are effective propaganda for ISIS. The current policy was not chosen for a situation like this, which nobody envisioned. Meanwhile, it is foolish to criticize the US government for not rescuing Foley. I'm sure the Pentagon was looking for a chance to rescue these hostages, but that is much easier said than done. Many attempts to rescue hostages have ended up killing them instead. There are plenty of reasons to criticize US foreign policy, but we shouldn't endorse every criticism just because the US is its target.
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https://stallman.org/archives/2014-jul-oct.html#16_September_2014_%28Ransoming_hostages%29